


YOU DID WHAT??!

by SaltAndSmoke



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M, Funny, Humor, Not Serious, Relationship Problems
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-21
Updated: 2015-07-21
Packaged: 2018-04-10 12:38:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4392107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SaltAndSmoke/pseuds/SaltAndSmoke
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rassilon is very upset with his wife Jackie because she did something so terrible he would not have even DARED to  think of it...</p>
            </blockquote>





	YOU DID WHAT??!

**Author's Note:**

  * For [consulting-wurstbrot](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=consulting-wurstbrot).



> This is just a drabble I did as a tumblr request, but I think it turned out quite enjoyable, actually. Please don't take it too seriously (I actually don't know how anyone could take THIS seriously but you never know) since this is, by far, the trashiest thing i have EVER written. Jassilon is my trash OTP, I ship it but at the same time I cringe at the mere thought of it.

It was a beautiful, peaceful, early summer morning, the sun had just risen over the hilltops in the distance, its beams not warm enough to wipe away the morning dew yet, but making it glimmer and sparkle in their light, letting every grassblade look like the diamond-crusted ceptres of the emperors of old. The first birds had just awoken, filling the air with their tender and lovely voices while puffing up their feathering and stretching their tiny, soft wings. Everything could have been so quiet and beautiful if not -

“YOU DID WHAT?????!!!” Roared Rassilon, immortal emperor of the Time Lord Imperium, in utter disbelieve and agony, his gauntleted hands entangled in his short, grey hair, his face as red as a rinuccha’s freshly spilt blood* his eyes popping.

“I WASHED YOUR BLOODY ROBE WHERE IS THE PROBLEM WITH THAT??” Jackie Tyler, Mother of Rose Tyler, shouted back, her voice shriller and thus, almost louder than her husband’s.

“THAT ROBE IS ANCIENT, JACKIE, IT IS PASSED DOWN FROM EMPEROR TO EMPEROR, IT IS A CULTURAL RELICT AND THE PRIDE OF MY PEOPLE, IT IS WORTH MORE THAN THIS WHOLE PATHETIC LITTLE PLANET YOU CALL “EARTH” AND IT IS OF POLITICAL VALUE!”

“AND IT STANK!!” cried Jackie, throwing her hands in the air, her voice mimicking the death scream of a banshee, “BECAUSE YOU NEVER **EVER** WASH IT!!!”

“THERE ARE OLD WORDS EMBROIDED ON IT, STITCHED ON IT WITH GOLDEN GRALUCHA** HAIR, WORDS SO OLD NOONE CAN DECIPHER THEM ANY MORE OF COURSE I NEVER WASH IT WHAT DO YOU THINK????”

“IF NOONE CAN READ THAT BLOODY SCRIBBLING ANY MORE IT DOESN’T MATTER DOES IT? I AM SO SICK OF YOU AND YOUR “ANCIENT TRADITIONAL STUFF”, THIS THING STANK AND I WASHED IT AND YOU SHOULD BE THANKING ME, AT LEAST NOW IT DOESN’T REEK OF BILLIONS OF YEARS OF ROYAL SWEATY ARM PITS ANY MORE!!”

“BY MY INEXISTENT BEARD JACKIE, CAN’T YOU JUST ACCEPT ME THE WAY I AM? YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND ME, YOU DON’T RESPECT ME, HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOVE YOU IF YOU ALWAYS HURT ME AND DESTROY MY PROPERTY?” Rassilon distangled his fingers from his hair and they came away with strands of it. he clutched his gauntleted hands to fists and a blue-ish shimmer started to surround the lobstered fingers. Jackie rolled her eyes and gave an annoyed snort

“Jesus Christ, not THAT again, Rass’. I thought we’ve been through this. You are making a bloody mess every time you do that and you know very well who has to clean it all up, then.” She gave him a sharp look and stabbed a finger in his direction, “Just stop it, would you?”

Her husband blinked shortly, frowned unhappily and let his arms sink again, hands dangling at his sides. He really looked very miserable. “But I need that robe. without it I am nothing.” he mumbled sadly.

“Darling, if you wouldn’t scream at me all the time and listen for once, I would have told you that your robe survived the washing…” Jackie said reproachfully and placed a hand on her lovers shoulder, patting it lightly. He lifted his head and looked at her with eyes so full of hope it even covered the burning hatred and flaming rage of a million years of dire regency for a moment.

“Really?”

“Really.” said Jackie, reaching behind her back and pulling the heavy, rich, crimson-and-gold robe with the massive golden shroud out of nowhere and laid it into her husbands hands. “it is all yours again, sweetheart.”

Rassilon raised the robe to his nose and gave it a sniff. His gaze became glassy and spacy and he sighed with joy: “ahh, Persil.”

“only the best for you, darling.” announced Jackie, obviously pleased with herself.

“You are the best.” grumbled Rassillon, his face still burried in the clean, red and scenting folds of his robe. Jackie gave him a sharp smack on the back of his head. “That’s what I just said, stop repeating like a parrot, you never listen, do you?”

 

* (if anyone is interested, the commoner garden rinuccha - a species inhabiting the great grass plains of Gallifrey- has bright scarlet-red blood that darkens to black-ish purple when dried)

** A Gralucha - inhabiting the deep forests of Gallifrey - is a fair, tiny animal, its appearance not very different from our rabbits (except from the very long tail with the silky tussle at its end). Its hair is soft and of bright golden or silver color. Unfortunately, the Gralucha has extinct over 5 million years ago.


End file.
